We are in a courtroom
the judge is bipolar
one of the men on the jury is my therapist
we have a bad history together
I am straight
but does that count here?
they call my father into the witness box
my brother clenches his feet
my father is cross-examined
exhibit 001 is a knife
it has been with us for like forever
I don’t know why I should deny it now
my lawyer teaches me a new kind of logic
says “In the courtroom, yes, no, or maybe ain’t good enough answers
I should think for like forever before I say yes
and when I swear it ain’t about God or anything
it is just a little routine
I believe this is to save my neck
or save him some more headaches or arguments
my father is in the witness box
he is also in a programmed mode
my lawyer schooled him for three hours straight
prepped him about details and denials
says it may save his son’sneck
I hiccup; the judge shouts “Order!” like a bitch
I try to draw up my middle finger
and mouth the word f*ck
I remember this is a courtroom
exhibit 001 is a murder weapon
and I haven’t been proven not guilty
one of the men in the jury enters a fit
I know how to do CPR
but exhibit 001 is a knife
too dull to cut off the handcuffs on my hands
I haven’t been proven not guilty
my father is still in the witness box
my brother may tell the truth
or muddle up everything.
